What to wear

For those not familiar with bar mitzvah style: At the morning service, it is appropriate to wear what might be called “Sunday best” or “special occasion” clothes. Tom and Isaac will be wearing suits, as most men will, but it’s also appropriate to wear sports coats or even button down shirts. For women, suits are also appropriate (either pants or skirts), as well as dresses or nice slacks. Our congregation is Reform, which translates to fairly liberal, but people will dress up some because it’s a bar mitzvah, and every year there seems to be fewer and fewer Birkenstock hold-outs.

What’s not appropriate? Wearing your soccer uniform, especially if you just finished your game and you’re all sweaty (seen–and smelled–that before). Or (and yes, we’ve seen this too) a short cutoff jeans mini skirt with a skimpy cotton cami and Ugg boots. Basically, keep in mind respectfulness, a sense of a special event, and the possibility that someone may take your picture afterwards for posterity!

If you’re not Jewish, don’t worry about wearing a kippah (skull cap) or tallit (prayer shawl)–it’s totally optional. Again, since this is a Reform congregation, it’s left to personal choice rather than any dictate.

For the evening party, Isaac wants everyone to feel comfortable. We’ve toyed with descriptors like “dressy casual” or “fancy camp” or “wine county chic” or “snazzy bar-b-que.”  Isaac will be wearing a short sleeve button down with khakis (though he’s lobbying for nice shorts), if that tells you anything.

For both day and evening, come with a layer or wrap.  Both the synagogue and the party site have great patios from which you’ll want to enjoy the view, and both can be a bit windy.

Hotel update

The RSVP cards have started to arrive–how exciting! We’ve heard from at least one family that our block at the Hyatt is full.  Since reserving through the block saves you $100, we can add rooms if we know for sure you want them, but we have to move fast (remember, it’s high season!) since the hotel has said there are few rooms left. Please call or email us immediately if you want us to add rooms to the block.

Mitzvah projects

Isaac’s class undertook to “do good well” this year, and every bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah child engaged in some kind of community or charity work. Not only did this involve doing a mitzvah (a good deed), but in tikkun olam (“repairing the world”) and tzeddakah (righteousness; charity). Want to learn more about Isaac’s projects? Here are some links:

Mirembe Kawomera (Delicious Peace). Isaac sold almost 500 bags of fair trade, organic, kosher coffee from a cooperative in Uganda that unites Jewish, Muslim and Christian farmers in building peace. In March, four of the farmers came to speak in Santa Rosa, including J.J. Keki, an Abayudayah Jew who began the cooperative by knocking on his neighbors’ doors. The Abayudayah are native Ugandans who have been practicing Judaism since 1919.  Fair trade prices have meant that the community now earns eight times as much as they once did from their crop, and their lives have improved significantly as a result. Isaac’s project has yielded both fair trade payments and additional profit sharing for the cooperative from Thanksgiving Coffee, a roaster near us that distributes the coffee, and he has raised an additional $1000 to contribute to community education projects through the organization, Kulanu (“all of us”), an organization dedicated to finding and assisting lost and dispersed remnants of the Jewish people.

Isaac continues to sell coffee to help the farmers; contact him if you’re interested in ordering some. It’s definitely delicious!

Land steward. Isaac has put in sufficient hours helping maintain our new synagogue’s landscape to earn the title “land steward.” Learn more about how volunteers helped made our congregation’s new home possible at the Shomrei Torah website.

Puppy petter. Isaac underwent training to help socialize and care for new puppies who will become companions and assistants to disabled people. The Assistance Dog Institute is an outgrowth of Canine Companions which provides service dogs to people all over the country–and began right here in Santa Rosa!

Elisha’s Pantry This is one of the projects of our synagogue’s Social Action Committee. Isaac has gone on several afternoons to lend a hand. Those coming to the Bar Mitzvah can help as well by bringing non-perishables to share; a collection basket will be near the sanctuary door.

Vocabulary

For those among our family and friends who aren’t familiar with b’nei mitzvot (the plural of bar/bat mitzvah), here are some terms you might want to know:

Bar mitzvah: “son of the commandment.” The Jewish coming-of-age ritual, which follows a boy’s 13th birthday; girls can become bat mitzvah at age 12. The joke, of course, is that on this day, the boy “becomes a man,” but in practice, it means that he becomes responsible for the commandments (read: his spiritual, moral life) and that he literally counts–he can be part of a minyon, the “quorum” of 10 necessary for communal Jewish prayer.

Mitzvah: a good deed. We speak of “doing a mitzvah,” for instance. As part of Isaac’s bar mitzvah process, he was required to do community service. He chose to do several mitzvah projects: selling fair trade coffee to support the Abayudayah Jews of Uganda; petting puppies at the Dog Assistance League; helping at Elisha’s Pantry to distribute food for the Redwood Food Bank; and helping maintain the landscape at our synagogue.

Bima: the stage, platform, or special area where the Torah service takes place. It is always considered an honor to be “called to the bima,” and during the service, we’ll try to include as many family and friends as we can.

Torah: the “Five Books of Moses,” the first five books of the Old Testament, and the most precious text in Jewish tradition. Isaac will read from a handwritten Torah scroll that was saved from a community in Czechoslovakia that was destroyed by the Nazis. Every week, a different parashah (portion) is read, and the whole Torah is reread every year. The Torah is treated with great respect: the congregation will stand whenever “in its presence”; Isaac will read from it using a yad (“hand,” a silver pointer) in order not to touch the parchment itself; at various times people will kiss something (a tallit, a siddur/prayer book) then touch it to the Torah.

D’var torah: a teaching based on the Torah, or the sermon Isaac is writing and will read during the ceremony.

Haftorah: “completion”; the reading of a section of the Prophets, sometimes with a tie-in to the Torah portion. When Isaac completes his reading of the Haftorah, there will be singing and clapping to signify the end of his major accomplishment in studying and preparing for his bar mitzvah

Kiddush: the prayer praising God for wine, recited before dinner on Shabbat and at other times to sanctify the day. Also refers to the food and wine served after morning services.

Kippah (pl. kippot; also called yarmulke in Yiddish): the headcovering, worn mostly by men as a sign of respect to God. Because ours is a reform synagogue, wearing the kippah is optional. Isaac wears a kippah handmade by the Abayudayah, the Ugandan Jewish community that he has helped support with his mitzvah project (more on this elsewhere in the blog).

L’dor va dor: “from generation to generation.”

Oneg (Shabbat): “celebration”; the social gathering including refreshments held after worship services. The Friday night before Isaac’s bar mitzvah, the oneg will be hosted by our chavurah (“friends”). We’ve been meeting and sharing Jewish holidays with these six families since Isaac was a toddler.

Simcha: a joyous event

Tallit (pl. tallitot): a prayer shawl with special fringes called tzitzit tied in the corners. The fringe is meant to remind the wearer of the 613 commandments. Isaac will receive his tallit at the start of his bar mitzvah service.

Where to stay

We have held a block of rooms in Railroad Square, which puts you in a great location for all bar mitzvah-related events, plus an easy walk from shopping, restaurants, a historic district and the new Prince Memorial Greenway.

We’ve reserved a block at the Hyatt Vineyard Creek (ask for the group rate for Melissa’s last name). This is an attractive hotel, with a pool, an in-house spa, a fitness room, a restaurant and cafe and Tuscan-style decor–it’s the most attractive hotel in this area. There’s also space for family/friends to gather, and on Friday afternoon, even a complementary wine reception. Plus, the area has pleasant walks. We have guaranteed 10 rooms to secure the discounted price of $199 (a steep discount from an internet price of $319, given this will be a weekend in high season). We can add extra rooms to the block if necessary. Please book immediately, if not sooner, so we can make sure everyone who wants to stay there can. Also, it will take a big load off our minds, since we had to guarantee these rooms to get the discount. Their cut off date is August 25.

We have some back ups if the Hyatt fills; we’ll add them back here if necessary.

We’ve discovered that the least expensive motel that is most convenient to the bar mitzvah events is the Hillside Inn ($70-95), which does not handle block bookings, but you can call for yourselves. The rooms are clean and basic, with some kitchenettes, and it has a small pool. It is close to a couple of good restaurants and shopping in Montgomery Village. It’s at the start of the road to Sonoma, so there’s easy access to wineries. Like all the budget hotels in town, it is on a noisy street, but we’ve had good reviews from locals.

PLEASE book early; Santa Rosa in September is busy, busy, busy, with beautiful weather, the harvest in full swing, and many weddings and other special events scheduled.

If you’re planning to fly…

Santa Rosa airport (just a few minutes north of town) is served by Horizon Air, a division of Alaska Airlines, with direct flights from LAX, Seattle, Portland and Las Vegas. For more frequent flight choices, we usually use Oakland or San Francisco airport, and fly Southwest (which has flights to both–Oakland is much easier of the two). Besides your usual method for finding good prices for flights, you might want to check Jet Blue (Oakland) or Virgin America (San Francisco).

Airport transportation can be arranged with Airport Express.

The plan for the weekend

The Bar Mitzvah itself is on Saturday morning, September 27, at 10:30am, followed by a light lunch; the party will be Saturday night, starting at 6:30pm. These are the most important events.

We hope that many of you will also be able to join us Friday night. It’s the custom at our synagogue on the Friday before a bar mitzvah for (1) the parents of the bar mitzvah to introduce their family and out of town guests; (2) the women of the bar mitzvah family/friends to light the Shabbat candles to begin the service (which starts at 7:30pm); and (3) the bar mitzvah boy to lead some of the prayers. In addition, following the service, the oneg Shabbat (“joy of Sabbath,” usually sweet treats to eat!) will be hosted by our chavurah (“friends”–in this case, a group of families whom we’ve known since our kids were little together, and some of them GREAT bakers!).

For OUT OF TOWNERS: We’re planning a dinner on Friday night before services, and a brunch Sunday morning.

My Training

I have been working towards my Bar Mitzvah since I was five years old by learning Hebrew, prayers, and just recently, my Torah portion. I have been in religious school for the past eight years, but this year at what a lot of people in my class call “Jew School” was definitely the hardest.
From kindergarten to 3rd grade, I went to religious school on Saturdays only. Then in 4th through 6th grade, I went on Saturdays and Wednesdays. In that time, we learned about different aspects of Jewish life and a few prayers. Then last December, I started going only for the prayers and then my Torah portion, which consists of 14 verses in Hebrew from the Old Testament. Right now I am going every Monday for three classes: T’filah (prayers), Parashat (my Torah portion), and Jewish Ethics. I’m basically done learning all the prayers that I have to do at my Bar Mitzvah (I will lead the entire service), and more than halfway through my Torah portion, which I will chant. I’ll be studying during the summer, even when I’m at camp!

The Temple

Our temple, Congregation Shomrei Torah, has an interesting history. We used to be at a church about a mile from our new home. We were there for about 30 years (long time) and then on 29 April 2007 we marched our Torahs over to the new temple and had a ceremony to celebrate the new building. My mom helped a lot in the building of it.
The website for the temple if you want to learn more is: www.shomreitorah.org.